hello! journal by fredd (warning: content inside)

yo

whats up guys?


im just gonna start typing a little elegy for ET.. hopefully it will be born again in some form or another :)

lately I've been nostalgic over the good times playing ET with friends, competing against foes and chilling out on ventrilo with your m8s, no worries about the future just loving the moment. I didn't appreciate it then, but those were some good times.. this game was special, it's given me a lot, hard to belive i started in 2003 when i was 10-11 years old. just realized my account is 12yrs old.. the game has been a part of half of my life, that's so insane to me. even though I haven't played in years whenever I happen to play a quake3 engine game, cpma or ET whatever, it's like riding a bicycle.

I start right where I left off. the movement, the little quirks of the engine,maximizing speed and distance traveled through miniscule adjustments of the mouse / timing of keys, the mindgames and docruns.. it's all ingrained into my mind... they don't make games like that these days anymore.. you think the 10 year olds growing up now are gonna play a videogame for 10 years? i don't know but i doubt it, there's rarely this much depth in anything these days. we had something special with ET and the community in 2003-2010

here is the last movie i finished over the summer of 2009. that's 7 years ago, wow. I was ~17, in a state of anxiety and depression, in and out of hospitals with severe physical symptoms and no diagnosis. it built character for sure, years later I realized these physical ailments were all psychosomatic, caused by my falling out with my first true love and the decisions i made regarding betraying my best friend. the amount of mental anguish surrounding the circumstances still wows me today. what an amazing experience! when I started feeling slightly better, i finished this video up. anyways this made me realize what is meant under duality. so what i'm saying is.. if you have any troubles in your life currently, bills to pay or your day sucks cuz someone just flamed you on crossfire etc.. just remember you could probably map out the good and bad times in your life on a sine wave.. and the wave continues on.



thanks for everything