My Saturday the 21st "My Meeting With Hawking 2006"
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21 Jan 2006, 19:52
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Journals
Well I woke up on Saturday morning tired as a Ford Focus tyre; I then looked up at my clock, startled to see that it was One O’clock in the afternoon. I rushed downstairs as quick As Jackie Chan in Rush Hour 2, scoffed down a bowl of diet Shreddies and ran outside only to find my boxer shorts tightly rapped round my foot and a sock on my Ding Dong. I held the sock tightly in one hand and headed for town...
It was only when I reached the train station that I realised the sock had fallen off and my Ding Dong had been dragging along the floor for the last mile, I had enough friction burn to make Abraham J Lincoln proud, I glimpsed at my watch, the time was now 2.30 PM.
I told Stephen I would meet him in the 'Rising Sun' for a few pints at 2 O’clock, the last time I was late at meeting him. He threw his wheel at me and flew off, bloody hurt as well. It was at that point I thought up the perfect plan, I will tell him all about my 'Sock Incident' and then I‘m off the hook.
I reached the pub, took a big breath and waltzed in. I spotted the wheelchair in the corner with its back turned and to my surprise no one was inside. I walked up the table and found a few empty glasses, i thought to myself 'where the fuck has he gone?' I asked around, the Barman said that some gay looking fella's carried him off about half an hour ago and headed in the direction of the Broad Street Mall.
I decided that the best place to look would be the “Broad Street Mall” so I headed there, I asked in every shop if they had seen him and the only answer i got was “No!” I came to the last shop in the mall “Games Workshop” at first I was scared to go in, I mean C’mon there has got too be at least 30 or so hardcore geeks in that place with no air conditioning. So I walked up to the counter hoping to speak with the “Master Geek”, the guy at the counter said ''Follow Me.''
I took my chances and did what he said, he took me into the storage room and told me to sit down, within a few seconds of resting my buttocks on the firm seat i started to hear noises. They grew nearer and nearer louder and louder. Then all of a sudden I saw him “The Master Geek” and by god did he look weird. He had enough acne on his face to be mistaken for a margarita pizza, his ears looked weird, I was guessing Star Trek implants and his nose was upturned, anyone could have mistaken him for a Hoobsville citizen with that thing.
A few geeky snorts later he asked me what I was seeking, I simply told him “My Friend Stephen Wheelchair” “Ooops” I said “Meant Stephen Hawking.” He told me “he came in here about 10 minutes ago with some nice looking fella's and started sniffing some glue. Not that cheap plastic shit, the hardcore metal glue. the geek told me they got high off their heads and headed towards the Oracle...
Tracking down a robot was harder than I first thought but if he was in the Oracle, I knew exactly where he would be “La Senza” I was right as well, there he was feeling up the manikins and putting bra's on his head. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder; he jumped out of his skin, saw me and legged it. That really pissed me off, I’ve been pushing him around for the last year or two and he can Fricking walk!
It wasn’t long before I caught up with him, I told him that I wasn’t angry and he finally stopped running. He burst into tears and told me he was sorry “Apology Accepted” I said. We went to the pub to get his wheelchair and then I took him to “Starbucks” for a Coffee, he decided to make it up to me by reading me one of his famous books, I was more than pleased and so was he, I think I even saw a smile but then again he is always smiling.
Meh, I cam home and got on my PC and decided to let the world know about my day but I thought I had to have my eyes removed because they kept hurting but then I relised they kept hurting but then I realised the refresh rate of my monitor was too high causing the screen to flicker making my eyes hurt! So I stole my Dads LCD 15inch flat screen xD
Well I hoped you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed typing it.
It was only when I reached the train station that I realised the sock had fallen off and my Ding Dong had been dragging along the floor for the last mile, I had enough friction burn to make Abraham J Lincoln proud, I glimpsed at my watch, the time was now 2.30 PM.
I told Stephen I would meet him in the 'Rising Sun' for a few pints at 2 O’clock, the last time I was late at meeting him. He threw his wheel at me and flew off, bloody hurt as well. It was at that point I thought up the perfect plan, I will tell him all about my 'Sock Incident' and then I‘m off the hook.
I reached the pub, took a big breath and waltzed in. I spotted the wheelchair in the corner with its back turned and to my surprise no one was inside. I walked up the table and found a few empty glasses, i thought to myself 'where the fuck has he gone?' I asked around, the Barman said that some gay looking fella's carried him off about half an hour ago and headed in the direction of the Broad Street Mall.
I decided that the best place to look would be the “Broad Street Mall” so I headed there, I asked in every shop if they had seen him and the only answer i got was “No!” I came to the last shop in the mall “Games Workshop” at first I was scared to go in, I mean C’mon there has got too be at least 30 or so hardcore geeks in that place with no air conditioning. So I walked up to the counter hoping to speak with the “Master Geek”, the guy at the counter said ''Follow Me.''
I took my chances and did what he said, he took me into the storage room and told me to sit down, within a few seconds of resting my buttocks on the firm seat i started to hear noises. They grew nearer and nearer louder and louder. Then all of a sudden I saw him “The Master Geek” and by god did he look weird. He had enough acne on his face to be mistaken for a margarita pizza, his ears looked weird, I was guessing Star Trek implants and his nose was upturned, anyone could have mistaken him for a Hoobsville citizen with that thing.
A few geeky snorts later he asked me what I was seeking, I simply told him “My Friend Stephen Wheelchair” “Ooops” I said “Meant Stephen Hawking.” He told me “he came in here about 10 minutes ago with some nice looking fella's and started sniffing some glue. Not that cheap plastic shit, the hardcore metal glue. the geek told me they got high off their heads and headed towards the Oracle...
Tracking down a robot was harder than I first thought but if he was in the Oracle, I knew exactly where he would be “La Senza” I was right as well, there he was feeling up the manikins and putting bra's on his head. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder; he jumped out of his skin, saw me and legged it. That really pissed me off, I’ve been pushing him around for the last year or two and he can Fricking walk!
It wasn’t long before I caught up with him, I told him that I wasn’t angry and he finally stopped running. He burst into tears and told me he was sorry “Apology Accepted” I said. We went to the pub to get his wheelchair and then I took him to “Starbucks” for a Coffee, he decided to make it up to me by reading me one of his famous books, I was more than pleased and so was he, I think I even saw a smile but then again he is always smiling.
Meh, I cam home and got on my PC and decided to let the world know about my day but I thought I had to have my eyes removed because they kept hurting but then I relised they kept hurting but then I realised the refresh rate of my monitor was too high causing the screen to flicker making my eyes hurt! So I stole my Dads LCD 15inch flat screen xD
Well I hoped you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed typing it.
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