CALLING AMERICAN ET PLAYERS

AMERICAN ET PLAYERS..... ASSEMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR TEAM AMERICA
Any native, American citizens, illegal border crossing aliens residing in the good ole USA, patriots living abroad, and anyone that wants to become a part of the galaxy's greatest team please message me. You can contact me by pm here, on irc as The End in #america.et, and finally in xfire as 2theend. Please memorize my captain's speech before messaging me, this can be found in my captains application. Our sponsors will provide personalized varsity jackets, shaker cups, and free in and out burgers from Matt. Serious applicants only.
The requirements you need to provide to join team USA are as follows:
Firstly and most importantly no frail bodied bitches
Tell good stories
Have muscles
Not be a nerd
No uglies
No smelly kids
No fatties
And finally no poor people

We provide:
An unique ventrillo experience
The frag experience of a life time
Varsity Jackets
Weightlifting/Drug tips
Ventrillo
Culinary Training from BD Matt himself
Hot bad bitches

Regards
The End

P.S. Your application must have a recent picture, a brief personal bio, a paragraph explaining why you would fit in with TEAM AMERICA, and your hobbies.