Waiting for admin approval is boring.

Most of you are new to crossfire, something which is evident in both your posting frequency and quality; you appear to have neglected the fundamental rules which govern this website, and for this you should be punished - However, due to negative publicity regarding the fair and balanced nature of this websites ruling overlord, The Tosspot, you will only be required to read this tutorial, multiple times, until you are able to recite its contents in a word perfect manner.

To begin, we should define some functions, that is member functions, the types of crossfire members which you wish to become:

Spammers - An example of which is a man named Lolkino - A detestable creature who inhabits an 24 hour waking cycle, the majority of which is spent posting on crossfire. His position was compromised, however, when in the midst of an opium binge tosspot promoted him to admin (You may be glad to find out that Tosspot has since attended rehab, and lolkino is no longer an admin). When promoted to admin this creature was put in a difficult position: his nature told him to spam, but his duties, and the power fix thus brought about, told him otherwise. This confusion led to some truely strange behavior, and is not something that is to be desired. As an example of a spammer, lolkino is truely the epitome, and if you wish to undertake such a function, you would do well to reach even half of his posting rate, or, indeed, his annoyance factor.

Trolls (Uneducated) - Such entities are usually found in otherwise intelligible discussions, spouting such rage and hatred as "This sucks, I do not like it" "You are all Fucknobs" "You should go and discretely empty the world of your presence" - Note that their use of language is usually much less eloquent. Unlike the other variety of troll, most will grow weary of their discussion within a few posts, they lack to refined techniques to draw you into a raged state. One interesting fact to note is that the majority of such users are Polish, and thus by default either retarded or drunken. Spaniards and Italians are also common to this sort of irrational, idiotic posting, and it is quite likely that this is due only to their lack of english abilities. One notable exception to this useless rule is Evan, the peon, who was recently exposed as a cheater - He is a fine example of an uneducated troll, although his techniques are even less refined than the average; you would again do well to copy his actions if you choose this as your desired function.

Troll (Educated) - These users are perhaps the most valuable to any community site, and to become one takes great dedication and skill. Noteable examples are myself, sol, flyingdj, lotix and shakes - When such users enter a discussion, it is usually the most popular of the day, and indeed the one with the highest posting frequency; this may, however, be more to the Trolls decision of where to post, rather than a result of them actually posting. To reach such a position takes considerable mastery of the English language, but little to no understanding of the topic being discussed: in most cases, a google of the current topic will yield enough information to generate myriad replies and general chaos within a post - Simple add big words, subtle (or not so subtle) insults and a generally patronising tone. Once you have reached this level, you have arguable reached the zenith, the summit of crossfire.

Fanboys - These beings, consisting of almost anyone who ever played poker with Potter on LAN, serve only to bolster the ego's of ET's stars, and increase their own social status. For instance, when a relatively famous players posts a comment, such as a smiley face ":)", fanboys will instantly pounce, posting replies riddled with refferences to their association with the said player - Such replies include: "Hey man, do you remember our match last night, i'll pwn you next time!!!" notice the subtle use of "man" in order to create a more familiar tone; "haha, get on comms you bitch!" Again, notice the use of friendly language, bitch here is an affectionate term, creating the impression that the 2 are mates of some description. This level user is more of an annoyance, and it is rare for someone to become noticed through such methods, although I am sure that in their own minds, they are very important people indeed.

Celebrities - If educated Trolls are the summit, then celebrities are perhaps the flag. Every user wishes to be one, and it is quite possible to combine celebrity with any other user type - Indeed, it is even possible to become a celebrty through exceptional performance in ones desired function: a noteable example is the one known as lolkino. There are many routes, but the most common and perhaps most accepted is through excelling at the game known as Enemy Territory, around which crossfire revolves; if one is able to pwn more noobs, or have a great headset, one will gain the respect of the crossfire community, and thus celebrity status. It is a hard road, and few reach it, but to be a true crossfire user you must strive to achieve - Everything you, you must do to gain attention.


There are more user types, of which I will write in future time, but for now, choose a basic function, and stay the course. If you do not fit into a role, the crossfire empire will crumble, and The Tosspot will be forced to migrate and grace a new community with his presence - This is not acceptable. The one rule all crossfire members must abide by is that The Tosspot is God, and must be treated in such a manner. Also, as a result of his past actions, Fusen has been elevated in position to that of a Saint - He must be treated with respect at all times, and anyone observing one of his posts must act in the fanboy manner described above.