English Homework! Pls help me :)

Hey guys.

I need help with my english homework for tomorrow :).

Because my english teacher dislike my "style" of writing.I want to ask one of the UK guys

or at least one who can write pretty nice.

I upploaded the pictures of the tasks + the main text.

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/9052/scannen0017su6.jpg

http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/9621/scannen0018dw9.jpg

the tasks are 1 , 2 and 3.

thanks for helping and also for reading.