Your emotions

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Hi all,

First of all, to clear it all up, I wrote this journal because I was bored...

Subject: Your emotions during gametime

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When I started ET for the first time, I was a complete newb. I knew nothing about games and gaming, and it was a whole new experience for me. One to never forget again.

When I entered the game, I walked around and started shooting random stuff (including teammmates). Then, when I killed an opponent, and I heard the words "Great Shot!", I had this indescribable feeling. It was kind of like a feeling of power, it gave me this adrenaline rush. Immediately I was hooked. Now, after 4 years, I still play ET, and I can't let go. Several times I have tried to quit ET, but I just can't, I'm emotionally too attached to it.

These days, I just play ET for fun. Well, actually, fun is the wrong word (since that "fun" factor is screwed up by the big amount of cheaters). I play it because I need to (it's some kind of addiction).

Research shows us that many people feel heavy emotions during gametime, but lose a part of their emotions in real life. I noticed this on myself too. Sometimes, when I get involved in a fight, I can't be arsed to care who and how I damage someone. I didn't have this before I started gaming.

These days I can handle my gaming addiction very good next to my real life, but still it keeps bothering me somehow. I don't like the fact that I lose my emotions in real life because of some stupid game, but on the other hand, this same fact gives me some kind of rush, plus I don't care in real life anymore of what I do.

Look at Jack Thompson. For the people who don't know who this is, Jack Thompson is a prosecutor, mainly prosecuting game developers. This guy is fiercely against violent gaming, and will do everything to get violent games banned from the market. Sometimes I'm wondering, could this guy actually be right? I mean, look at the increased violence in the new pepsi-generation. If you play a violent game, you are interacting with this game. This interaction makes you make choises, choises that have to be thought about. If a game looks so realistic, that you almoast can't seperate it from reality, and you would still make that awfull choise (like raping someone), would it be easier for you in real life too then?

People often say: "If gaming influences you, then why don't movies have the same effect?". I have a simple answer to this. During gametime, you are interacting with your game. In a movie you aren't. In a movie the choises are already made for you, in a game they aren't, you have to make the choises yourself.

I wonder, did you have the same feeling when you played ET for the first time? And do you have less emotions in real life now?

Greetz,

Spree

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