What if god was a rocker?

Ciao from Italy on a gay laptop. I had a conversation witha friend how the bible looks like when god was a rocker.
Let me know some funny stuff what will hapend when god was a rocker.

- His son Jezus would turn water into beer
- Jezus would hang on his cross with his hands like \m/ \m/
- Moses would splitt the sea by headbanging

Any more?
Comments
55
He would make the world in 7 days and trash it all down in 1 day because he would be teh drunk.
Ik heb kaartjes gekocht voor Daan en mij, maar die domme doos bij de balie kon t eerst niet eens vinden -,- ze dacht dat t Soulwork was ipv Soilwork loel[/dutch]
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Ik hoorde het van daan. Hij belde me. Kanker duur. Hebben jullie wel voor in tivoli gekocht?[dutch]
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Ja we zijn geen mongolen he :P (ik was er trouwens bij toen hij belde ofc)
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Ja nja, mooizo. Had al zon vermoedde dat je erbij was. Ik weet niet waar die kanker hoge comma op dit toewtsenbord zit
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hier: '

kopieer mijne!
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k, maar ik ga er vandoor. Nice onderwerp om aan te kaarten eh? Maak jij er maar eentje met: When god was I Metalhead. Adam plukte 6 appels op 6 juni op de zesde dag. Later!
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going to church would be a lot fun.
It could all be true btw. The world is messed up by god with poor and sick people, wars. God is stoned 24/7 !
if god wanted us to be perfect he would create us perfect.

instad he create us as we today, and we decide for our self.

he gave us the tools we need.

we build weapons-so we use them for war.
we build cars-so we get our self killed.

we all have the tools, but every one decide what to do with them :O
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update: God doesn't exist

np.
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well you have to think about one thing:

who comes before you?

your parents gave you life, and their parents gave them life...

so if we go way back :D
there must be some thing who is devine, God.
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This is the exact reason I don't debate with religious people. I mean there is something called the evolution theory which pretty much explains how it happened. Anyway hf in Heaven, lol.
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you didnt understand.

every one of us was create by some one before us.

if you go way way back, there must be some thing that no one can create, an higher power :P

this is god.
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Oh god... really, you look back from the situation as it is now instead of looking at proofs that indicate that we have evolved from a different species that looked like monkeys. There is no God needed to explain how it's possible for people to exist now. If what you say is true then God must also be the father of all animals and that doesn't explain the wide variety of animals that walk the earth nowadays.
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if you look way back, every thing must be created from some one before them.

but there is must be one thing that cannot be born in order to bring every thing that you see today.

this thing is good.

and btw we came from sea animals who came to land and then evolve to land creature :P
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so you say god is a monkey?
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nope, im saying that you are an idiot
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"quote: Theodor says; well you have to think about one thing:

who comes before you?

your parents gave you life, and their parents gave them life...

so if we go way back :D"



ever heard of evolution theory? pls su jew
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omg you fucking idiot.

you missed the whole point.

read again and realize
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well explain jew....

seems to you never heard about evolution theory! You will realize there aint a god lol
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you still didnt realize what was my point.

you evolved from some thing, if you go way back there must be some thing that cannot be born in order to create every thing you see today.

any way think what ever you want.
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and btw:

Why Adam and Eva got a belly button at the pictures? That is impossible if no one cuts off the umbilical cord and they are both shaped at the same time. So who did this? i suppose you say god LOL
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shaped at the same time?

god first create Adam, then he saw he was alone, so he took a bone from his ribs and creat Eva.

this explain alot.
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rofl i dont hope you really believe that shit :o lol
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God is a phenomenon purposely made up by human-beings to have an answer on all questions that people could/can not answer. Things like: "Where do we come from?" and "What happens after death?" As soon as we have a real, scientific, answer based on emperic evidence you'll see that God will be replaced by that scientific question. For instance the evolution theory.
But religion is sooooo eleventh century. People back then were even dumber than they are now. Give the people a story about a subject they do not understand, and they will believe you. No questions asked. Religion is a belief-system. Nothing more. Too bad the Scripture also contains some truth, or truth mixed up with fantasy. Sadly it kind of explains the great succes of christianity and judaism.
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Jij hebt prinsjesdag ook overleefd! :O
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Sterker nog, ik was lekker op de campus aan het squashen toen het jaarlijkse festiviteit van debiele Hollanders langs de kant van de weg en de belachelijke hoedjesparade zich voltrok. Heb er dus weinig van gezien. Hebben we nog allemaal netjes driemaal "hoera" geroepen voor onze madam met die grote ronde bronze helm op haar hoofd?
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Ach ik heb er ook niet al te veel van meegekregen, maar was natuurlijk wel even interessant om te zien hoe ze gingen proberen goed te praten dat we ondanks een bloeiende economie er toch op achteruit gaan. Ik ben alleen een beetje allergisch voor Hare Majesteit de koningin, dus heb alleen even de tekst bekeken in plaats van te luisteren. Wilders was trouwens ook weer erg vermakelijk.
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Ja, met mensen als Wilders is het altijd lachen geblazen. Wat heeft er zich dan de afgelopen dagen plaatsgevonden?
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Hij heeft Balkenende lafaard genoemd en was weer eens lekker bezig met zijn kruistocht tegen de Islam. Dat zou van mij op de TV mogen komen in plaats van programma's als de Gouden Kooi, veel vermakelijker!
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Gelukkig is de strijd van het christendom tegen de islam niet van vandaag of gister. Kruistochten tegen de ongelovigen is al een fenomeen dat zich afspeelt sinds 1096, toen paus Urbanus II het maar eens hoog tijd vond dat de ketterse joden bekeerd moesten worden. De veldslagen tegen de Moren, en later de Turken, uiteraard eender. Meneer Wilders probeert zich nu ook als redder van het geloof te positioneren, en zijn volgelingen zijn bereid om zich als servitium Dei naar voren te schuiven.
Overigens is mij het televisie-programma 'De Gouden Kooi' mij niet zo bekend. Maar aangezien de Nederlandse televisie zich sinds Big Brother in een diep dal bevindt, lijkt het mij buitengewoon aannemelijk dat een politiek spel tussen een voormalig bijzonder hoogleraar en voormalig VVD'er Geert Wilders voor meer vertier zal zorgen dan het hedendaagse amusentenaanbod. Roep je mij als het zo ver is? Dan zet ik alvast de frituurpan op, met de gebruikelijke bitterballen en een sausje.
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Het is overigens niet zo gek dat de TV programma's van tegenwoordig zo'n lage standaard hebben, aangezien het "volk" die standaard ook heeft. Politiek vinden ze "onzin" of "niet interessant"; ze kijken liever naar een groep mensen die elkaar uitschelden. Dat is nu eenmaal de realiteit van vandaag de dag, dit zal ook niet veranderen. Des te vrolijker kan ik echter worden van debatten op TV, een zeldzame gebeurtenis tegenwoordig en daarom extra speciaal. Dat we nu ook nog eens een beroepsidioot als Wilders in ons land hebben maakt zo'n debat extra mooi. Hij voegt misschien niets toe, maar zorgt in ieder geval voor scherpte bij de overige (weldenkende politici). Als dit soort debatten vaker op TV komen zal ik overwegen zo'n Plasmascherm aan te schaffen en dan kunnen de bitterballetjes inderdaad niet ontbreken!
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your point is?

belive what ever you belive, i can give you proofs that god does exist and i can talk about that the whole day.
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Sure, give me your evidence. Let me guess:
You can FEEL his presents? You FEEL warmth?
You think the world is so complex that is has to be designed by a higher and divine power? Then once again: if you don't understand something, it doesn't mean there is something divine behind it all. Just an explanation we do not (yet) understand.
But I do feel sorry for you. It were probably your parents that started brainwashing you at the age of 5, just like your parents were brainwashed by your grandmother and father. My school tried the same thing. Luckily I thought that splitting oceans, fireballs from the sky and traveling 40 years to a place was a bit strange.
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God stoned 24/7 sounds nicer to me.
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no thx, metal is for freaks only
I not even used the word metal in my journal.
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rocker = rock = hardrock = metal = freak
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= your opinion
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i think peter isnt a girl name
I think you are the most smartest guy on Earth !

then again, I lie !
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i dont think the stereotype of a rocker does comfort gods appearance very much
he would /ban mcdonalds and /multiply hardrockcafé's
easter would be a huge metal festival ( international )
Lol, sounds nice to me. Instead of searching for eggs searching for beers?
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he would make Brittney Spears bald
She doesnt even exists!
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Nah, she would exist but just as someone you can make fun of!
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Everyone knows Jesus
The man who healed the lame.
Well, I am Jesus' brother,
Craig is my name.

Jesus is the Prince of Peace.
Jesus is the Lamb.
Jesus is the Son of God,
But Craig don't give a damn.

Because when Craig's in sight,
We'll party all damn night.
I don't turn water into wine,
But into cold Coors Light.
I'm not my brother, I know,
Don't walk on H2O,
But I got hydroponic shit
That me and Judas grow.

I'm fuckin Craig.
I'm fuckin Craig.
I'm fuckin Craig.
Craig Christ.

I hang out with lepers,
Barabbas, and Salome.
Jesus' friends are called Apostles -
Those dudes are totally gay.
Jesus performs miracles,
From Galilee to Rome.
But it would be a miracle,
If he brought a fuckin lady home.

Because while Jesus is prayin,
Fuckin Craig is layin,
Every lady in the Testament,
You know what I'm sayin'?
I won't die for your sin,
Like my famous kin.
But if you've got a little sister,
Then there's room at this inn.

I'm fuckin Craig.
I'm fuckin Craig.
I'm fuckin Craig.
Craig Christ.

Jesus was our mothers fave,
All her love to him she gave.
But there's no sibling rivalry,
When he's nailed to that tree.

And now the question for you,
Is not "What Would Jesus Do?"
But where will you be
When the Craig Machine comes partyin' through?
And if the Lord will allow,
You got to ask yourself how,
And who and why and when and where
Is your messiah now?

It's fuckin Craig.
Fuckin Craig.
Fuckin Craig.
I'm fucking Craig.
Craig Christ.
Craig Christ.
Craig Christ.
I'm fuckin Craig.
he sewed his eyes shut because he is afraid to see
he tries to tell me what i put inside of me
he's got the answers to ease my curiosity
he dreamed a god up and called it christianity
god is dead and no one cares
if there is a hell i'll see you there
he flexed his muscles to keep his flock of sheep in line
he made a virus that would kill off all the swine
his perfect kingdom of killing, suffering and pain
demands devotion atrocities done in his name
god is dead and no one cares
if there is a hell i'll see you there
your god is dead and no one cares
if there is a hell i'll see you there
god is dead and no one cares
if there is a hell i'll see you there your god is dead
god is dead and no one cares
and no one cares drowning in his own hypocrisy
and if there is a hell i will see you see you there
burning with your god in humility
will you die for this?

I say fuck you christians - religion in general
word, fuck the christian ppl
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