A woman had 6 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview.
He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she sid:
- Kevin.
- Right - he said - what about that blond one over there?
- Kevin, she said.
- Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?
- Kevin, she said.
- Well, and the little chubby one with the baseball cap?
- Kevin, she said.
- Are all your boys called Kevin? - he asked - isn't that terribly complicated?
- Not at all - she said - it makes everything very easy, actually. When I shout: Kevin, tea is ready!, they all come. When I say: Kevin, it's time for bed!, they all go to bed.
- I see. But what if you want only one of them?
- No problem - she answers - Then I call them by their surnames.
Gun Shop Owner: Hi, How can I help you?
Client: I am looking for a gun.
Owner: What kind of gun are you looking for?
Client: (pointing at the biggest handgun in the case): That one looks about right.
Owner: (very surprised): Why do you need a .44 magnum?
Client: It is for shooting at cans.
Owner: (pointing at a small handgun) Well, this is the perfect size for shooting at cans.
Client: (pointing again at the .44) Nah, I need this one.
Owner: OK, what kind of cans are you shooting at?
Client: Mexi-cans... Puerto Ri-cans... Afri-cans...
A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg.
The man reached in his pocket and took out a doggie biscuit.
A busybody who had been watching ran up to him and said:
- You shouldn't do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!
The blind man retorted:
- I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass!
<aggnog> you hear about that guy that got brutally murdered with a pack of cards ??
<aggnog> by
<aggnog> NO because i made it up
<tom-zissou> was he dealt a deadly blow?
<len-> what the lol
<Liam> sounds like who did it was a bit of a joker
<aggnog> hahahha
<_8bitlobster> probably black... like the ace of spades
<aggnog> his family must have been flush
<Liam> i heard they've got an ace detective on the case though
<aggnog> you know they dumped his body in the river ..................................................................................... card
<_8bitlobster> i heard the murderer is goign STRAIGHT to jail
<aggnog> lol
<_8bitlobster> len-
<_8bitlobster> we need you to add one
<len-> au
<tom-zissou> i heard he was clubbed to death
<aggnog> killer couldn't have had a heart
<Liam> haha
<_8bitlobster> was he killed for telling a pack of lies?
<tom-zissou> no but i heard he was a dealer
<_8bitlobster> haha
<Liam> i heard he was Rules for playing blackjack. The object of the game is to get a card value of 21.
<aggnog> gambling with life and death
<_8bitlobster> was the getaway a '52 pickup?
<aggnog> liam why ruin it for everyone ?
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.
Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
there is a doctor and a woman at hospital. and the woman just born a baby :) .. then later the doctor takes the baby from the woman and hit the baby as hard as he can to the edge of the bed.
the woman cries "WTF ARE U DOING WITH MY BABY !!!! >.< AAAH"
and the doctor says: "mhahah im kidding..the baby was already dead"
emo joke :
whats the difference between a running over emo and a running over rat ?
-> good one :)
He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she sid:
- Kevin.
- Right - he said - what about that blond one over there?
- Kevin, she said.
- Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?
- Kevin, she said.
- Well, and the little chubby one with the baseball cap?
- Kevin, she said.
- Are all your boys called Kevin? - he asked - isn't that terribly complicated?
- Not at all - she said - it makes everything very easy, actually. When I shout: Kevin, tea is ready!, they all come. When I say: Kevin, it's time for bed!, they all go to bed.
- I see. But what if you want only one of them?
- No problem - she answers - Then I call them by their surnames.
Gun Shop Owner: Hi, How can I help you?
Client: I am looking for a gun.
Owner: What kind of gun are you looking for?
Client: (pointing at the biggest handgun in the case): That one looks about right.
Owner: (very surprised): Why do you need a .44 magnum?
Client: It is for shooting at cans.
Owner: (pointing at a small handgun) Well, this is the perfect size for shooting at cans.
Client: (pointing again at the .44) Nah, I need this one.
Owner: OK, what kind of cans are you shooting at?
Client: Mexi-cans... Puerto Ri-cans... Afri-cans...
A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg.
The man reached in his pocket and took out a doggie biscuit.
A busybody who had been watching ran up to him and said:
- You shouldn't do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!
The blind man retorted:
- I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass!
<aggnog> you hear about that guy that got brutally murdered with a pack of cards ??
<aggnog> by
<aggnog> NO because i made it up
<tom-zissou> was he dealt a deadly blow?
<len-> what the lol
<Liam> sounds like who did it was a bit of a joker
<aggnog> hahahha
<_8bitlobster> probably black... like the ace of spades
<aggnog> his family must have been flush
<Liam> i heard they've got an ace detective on the case though
<aggnog> you know they dumped his body in the river ..................................................................................... card
<_8bitlobster> i heard the murderer is goign STRAIGHT to jail
<aggnog> lol
<_8bitlobster> len-
<_8bitlobster> we need you to add one
<len-> au
<tom-zissou> i heard he was clubbed to death
<aggnog> killer couldn't have had a heart
<Liam> haha
<_8bitlobster> was he killed for telling a pack of lies?
<tom-zissou> no but i heard he was a dealer
<_8bitlobster> haha
<Liam> i heard he was Rules for playing blackjack. The object of the game is to get a card value of 21.
<aggnog> gambling with life and death
<_8bitlobster> was the getaway a '52 pickup?
<aggnog> liam why ruin it for everyone ?
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.
Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
but my englishskills are low- !!!
k..
there is a doctor and a woman at hospital. and the woman just born a baby :) .. then later the doctor takes the baby from the woman and hit the baby as hard as he can to the edge of the bed.
the woman cries "WTF ARE U DOING WITH MY BABY !!!! >.< AAAH"
and the doctor says: "mhahah im kidding..the baby was already dead"
emo joke :
whats the difference between a running over emo and a running over rat ?
in front of the rat are skidmarks !
how can u bring down an emo of a tree ?
cut up the cord
the waiter came up
and he ate him
Snowballs
-
cuz theres only four corners to cry .