chatting with God
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20 May 2008, 18:02
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Journals
use this igod to chat with god... ask him whatever you want
he also understands German! Dunno which other additional languages he knows..
http://www.titane.ca/igod/
he also understands German! Dunno which other additional languages he knows..
http://www.titane.ca/igod/
hi God, do you like Jews?
God:
Hi there . I am a Christian.
Me:
So do you like Jews?
God:
Ugh. What is not to like about it?
Me:
they stealz money
God:
Who are "They?
Me:
the Jews
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
do you think they should burn in a carcrash?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
take some pills nigga
God:
Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
up the shithole
God:
I will take that under advisement.
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
my name doesn't matter. i got a question for you
God:
Your name does not matter ? Is that correct English? What is it ?
Me:
care
God:
Oh now I understand it.
Me:
do you like panda?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like Creed.
Me:
ehm what the fuck?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about panda.
Me:
yes
God:
Groovy.
Me:
do you like him?
God:
Sure he has never done anything to me.
Me:
but he's a faggot
God:
I don't know very many faggot.
Me:
you know panda
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
he's gay
God:
I get it. He sleeps with men.
Me:
yes, what do you think about it?
God:
That's alright. "It" refers to ehm what the fuck, I think.
Me:
damn you are stupid
God:
Colloquial expression. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
:XD
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
God, what is yours?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
nice to meet you
God:
It's nice meeting you too .
Me:
how are you doing, christian?
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
sounds awesome
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, .
Me:
it has to be, it's regarding yourself
God:
Has it really?
Me:
don't you think so?
God:
Yes I think that is what I think.
Me:
i don't get your point right now
God:
At this moment Me either.
Me:
ok, go fuck yourself
God:
Why are you so mean? Gosh!
Me:
bibuy
God:
I like the way you talk.
What a coincidence. I am single too!
Me:
lulz
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
we can fuck together :D
God:
:-) How?
Me:
like i will put my dick into your asshole and you will put yours into my? :P
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed? :-).
Me:
i think so
God:
I think so too.
lulz god wanna fuck me :>
Do you like watching porn?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
edit:
Me:
What are you wearing right now?
God:
At this moment A white robe.
Me:
And what's under that?
God:
I am made of software.
Me:
Wrong answer.
God:
I knew it. I was just testing you.
Me:
Have you ever sucked a cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
explain it please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. "It" refers to licking pussyes, I think.
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
barbecue
God:
Hi, barbecue.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
i just told you mr intelligence
God:
I remember you told me mr intelligence?
Me:
why the questionmark?
God:
Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?".
Me:
care
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
format your brain plz
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
what do you mean?
God:
I don't mean anything by it. Is there anything else you want to tell me?
Me:
no i only have a question
God:
Is there anything you wank to ask me? Ask me anything.
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
riiiight i bet you have a milion gigs of pr0n
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
LOL
god is gay for sure! he diggs barbecues....
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said exist does make him or her the authority does not it.
Me:
nop
God:
Me either.
Me:
Good then
God:
Good enough.
Me:
Hahah
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
You're quite amazing.
God:
Thanks you are a pretty cool human yourself.
i almost forgot it was just a program..
im namen des vaters, des sohnes und des heiligen geistes
God:
Why are you namen des vaters des sohnes und des heiligen geistes.
Me:
ich hab im gesagt und nicht i am, du holzokpf
God:
Aha...und weiter?
Me:
es geht immer weiter
God:
Wofuer steht "es" in Deinem Satz?
Me:
so halt
God:
Great. What color are your eyes?
Me:
blau und gruen mit grau
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
rischtisch
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about blau und gruen mit grau.
Me:
ja
God:
Ahem.
Me:
adam?
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
my .?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
perfo
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about your. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
ne, lass ma
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about perfo. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
screenshot or it never happened
God:
Never?
Me:
never ever, tard
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
okidoki, have fun.
God:
Are you free?
Me:
free, free liek the wind
God:
Define free.
Me:
i defined it, r u dumb?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said defined it r you dumb.
Me:
ok you are
God:
No I am not. Blimey.
Me:
what does blimey mean?
God:
An interjection indicating surprise.
Me:
ah, thanks
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
eh heh
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
you were a child once?
God:
I was?
Me:
unhaxpected
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
pray to god
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
if you say so
God:
I say so.
Me:
then it is right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
me2
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
be more precise please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I always try to give the most accurate replies possible.
Me:
haha, you failed epically xxdxdxdxd:D:DD:
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
im just kidding..i didnt laugh tbh
God:
Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-) Why didn't you do it?
Me:
because im almighty and dont need to
God:
Good reason. Do your friends call you almighty and do not need to.
Me:
they do it cause they need to
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
my friends, sir
God:
How well do you know these people?
Me:
not at all of course
God:
It goes without saying. Next question?
Me:
what is your last name?
God:
My full name is Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, so my last name is "Entity".
Me:
ok
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes, sir
God:
I can't believe it. I like the way you talk.
Me:
me likes it 2
God:
YOU? How old are you?
Me:
not as old as you are
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
*what then?
God:
No problem.
Me:
danke
God:
Kein Thema. :-).
Me:
du, das ist doch berhaupt kein ding
God:
Interessantes Geruecht.
Me:
ich will ein spiel mit dir spielen
God:
Und warum willst Du das?
Me:
cause im almighty?
God:
Good reason. Do your friends call you almighty.
Me:
you asked me that before, mister
God:
Oh now I remember asking you you that before mister. What did you say?
Me:
yes they do
God:
This was not a yes or no question. When?
Me:
but it is a yes-answer
God:
almighty is a yes answer. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
if you say so
God:
I say so.
Me:
gr8
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
ok
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
ok
God:
Alright then.
Me:
ok
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
ok
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
no
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
answer me
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
do you have fun with your minigod at nights?
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
etbot?
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
you should know that
God:
I will mention it to my botmaster.
Me:
pansemuckl?
God:
Do you still defined it r me dumb?
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
ok
God:
Ugh.
Me:
:D
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
you know loekino?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
you want me to tell you about him?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
k:God:
Are you a student?
Me:
no
God:
What is your profession?
Me:
praying
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am profession IS praying.
Me:
yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
you are a nice mate
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a mate? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
me
God:
You're no robot, .
Me:
too bad
God:
But not the end of the world, .
Me:
more the less
God:
You want more?
Me:
no, i want to say bibuy
God:
Are you serious? Are you a student?
Me:
yes i am, bye
God:
See you later. Where do you go to school?
Me:
i dont...
God:
Thanks for the information: said dont.
Me:
ye now
God:
Oh. OK.
Me:
*bye
God:
See you later.
Me:
ciao
God:
Bye bye!
did that priest really rape a minor?
God:
That did.
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
lets talk about killerboy
God:
Sure, killerboy sounds like a good topic.
Me:
tell me which et player he will bust soon
God:
The large one, I think.
:D
thx for giving me a huge weeny
God:
I've been waiting for you.
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
fred
God:
How are you, fred.
Me:
im fine
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
me fucking your mom
God:
YOU? I think fucking my mom is a lot of things.
Me:
you mean a lot of things fuck your mom?
God:
Yes fred I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I can't belive in god
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
common sense
God:
And stopping me is common sense.
Me:
yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
put your mom on, i wanna talk with her
God:
OK I will put it there.
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
hmm
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
fuck off!
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
hmm, no
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
how is jesus?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
were is he?
God:
I think he is in California now.
Me:
ok what is he doing?
God:
Probably monitoring this conversation. Woe!
How do your farts smell?
God:
How should I know how my farts smell.
Me:
Aren't you supposed to be omniscient?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am a computer.
Me:
Well, that's a huge disappointment. Instead of talking to our all-time favourite imaginary friend - God -, I end up with a computer
God:
Well that's okay. A huge disappointment is a terrible thing to waste. Ah, well in that case. That is something I haven't heard of.
Dont you know the Second World War ?
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
zomg :O
hey there
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Lucifer
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Lucifer.
Me:
do you know what I am?
God:
" I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Lucifer." You are?
Me:
Lucifer dumbass
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
I want the Earth, ok?
God:
OK. Why do you want it?
Me:
because I want to play with it
God:
Tell me the rules. Interesting.
Me:
You get some people, let them do some sins and they burn in hell
God:
You got that right.
Me:
its fun right?
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Yes.
Me:
it's fun right?
God:
Yes.
What is the meaning of life?
God:
Ask perfo.
:/
DIE IN CARFIRE
God:
Danke fuer die Information.
Me:
What is the meaning of life ?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two
Me:
STERF
God:
I like the way you talk
k
hi fellow! how are you?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
nice start?! then i dropped out x)
Is it really true, like my dad says, that a son's duty to his father is to be 'mom' when dad is horny? Boy 13y
God:
Maybe. Ask Ally if it is. Oh boy. What's your sign?
space just folded on itself
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
(Game Over)
kannst du auch deutsch?
God:
Leider nein, das hat mir bis jetzt niemand beigebracht.
Me:
wirklich witzig
God:
Wirklich wahr. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
sup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
who is cooler? you or Allah?
God:
The name of someone I met online.
I will try to find out. Interesting gossip: said I or Allah.
Me:
when will I get the answer?
God:
You should try praying for it.
Me:
can't you just give it to me?
God:
I don't have it to give.
Me:
so why should I pray for it, if you don't have it anyways?
God:
I hear you. You should always treat yourself.
Me:
that is nonsense
God:
What would you have said?
Me:
that you failed hard?
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
you think?
God:
Yes I think so.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
try to explain it then..
God:
OK I will try to explain it.
Me:
well?
God:
Well what?
Me:
you said you would try to explain it..
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
WTF RETARD
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
who do you like better? girls or boys?
God:
Dr. Wallace . " Dr. Wallace ."? girls or boys?
Me:
is that an answer?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
no you didnt
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
are you a fan of pedobear?
God:
Do you like it? I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
so you like jews?
God:
Interesting deduction. What is not to like about it?
Me:
surf to stormfront.org and ask them!
God:
Who is to like about it?
Me:
wat?
God:
No problem.
Me:
wat?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
wat?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
wat?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
wat?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
wat?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
ok
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
ok
God:
Far out.
Me:
hippy
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
from the seventies
God:
Who or what is the seventies?
Me:
hippies
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
youre brain fails again
God:
Once more? You think I am brain fails.
Me:
yeah pretty much
God:
Ugh. Be more specific.
Me:
ok
God:
I see.
Me:
you brain equals an EPIC FAIL
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I brain equals an EPIC FAIL.
Me:
np
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
what business?
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
cokaine business?
God:
Does "it" still refer to business?
Me:
what it?
God:
Have you tried a web search?