How to Rage a Peon.

Peons are the majority here on crossfire. They are a rampaging infection coursing through the veins of our beautiful community, and the only cure, the only true remedy, is good, honest trolling.

You can not outwit a peon because he has no wits, you can't reason with him because he has no reason, and you can't ask an admin to ban him because the admins are peons too. I mean just look at sol, what the fuck is that. Seriously.

What's left is diversion and trickery, clever ploys which rage and confuse the peon into submission, a type of delerium which typically ends in a mixture of anger and fear. You must avoid directly threatening or insulting the peon; they do not and can not feel emotional pain as you or I do, claiming you fucked their mother is just reality to them, you must be more subtle. When the peon insults you or questions your sexuality, run with it, e.g.

"stfu you fucking gay"
"It'd be a lot easier to fuck your father in the ass if I were, I wouldn't have to get him to put on his pretty dress."

Here the use of inestual imagery is second to the imlication of transvestiteism in the peons family, and is thus permissible. The peon will accept the fatherly assfucking but will recoil in horror upon the implication that their father would wear a dress, that's their job after all. Once you've mastered this diversion tactic you can move on to the more involved art of trickery. This method involved stearing conversations and usually takes it's course over multiple replies; it's like playing chess, you have to think ahead and course correct if thins don't go to plan.

I rocked your dads world, no lube.
You fucked an old man up the ass? Congratulations I guess.
What? no funnehs? //A challenge!
There's nothing amusing about fucking an old man up the ass, unless he's wearing a clown suit, and even then it's borderline until he lets you honk his red nose.
Exactly what happened
Explains why I found that clown suit in your parents bedroom.

After the challene the chain of replies was planned and executed. Often peons have nothing legitimate to say and the replies open to you are almost infinite, use this fact wisely and craft devastating punchlines.

Once you join the war, there's no going back. Peons often travel in groups so don't be afraid if you begin trolling multiple reply streams over multiple threads at the same time; remember to engage, divert, trick and destroy. With your help, with the intelligence, wit, and endless spare time of the crossfire elite, we can rid our beloved website of the peon scurge and enjoy a life free of "1st", "old" and "dragons". So lift up your index finger, browse to those journals, click those reply buttons, and destroy some peons.

Peons Successfully Raged:
Waki
Nonix
Raptus
Comments
154
Hmmm...should I post 1st now, just to annoy or join the holy crusade...not sure..but doesn't this make you kinda of a peon too, showing same behaviour?
You should get your Ronners checked out before it becomes too serious. It seems innocuous at first, but I've seen honest, hardworking crossfire users reduced to posts of solely elipses in a matter of weeks.
Parent
I hat seen thy light my liege. Redeem me and I shall aid thou upon thee holy crusade!
Parent
Prepare thy holy flame and then spread it across the lands!
Parent
GOTTA DESTROY 'EM ALL!!!!
Nice + i smell some warning points :D
I shall join thee on this quest, my king.
Thou shalt be rewarded greatly with coveted warning points for thy troubles.
Parent
Blasphemy! Lord, I hath slained dragon after dragon. Endured battles of blood and gore and THIS... Is my reward? Retaliation shall be my right hand from now on, Die! *stab*

:(
Parent
Fine, thou may also deflower a virgin. I offer thee Fusen as reward.
Parent
Sorrow takes part of me now. I'm sorry my king, Thou are forgiven I shall never doubt you anymore.

FUSEN IS MINE<3
Parent
Be fair to him, kind sir, for he wants of gentle love.
Parent
He bruises easily? *Sigh* No ropes I guess?

What is my next quest my king? I have ravaged a group of peons into eternity, what shall I do now?
Parent
Ravage them to infinity plus one, of course.
Parent
Ah, I'm sorry king. I will not disturb thee nomore enjoy the female peons I have brought you. The pleasures they can give you... Effects absinth can not even match!
Parent
Oh good god. I just choked on a cornflake.
Parent
Cornflakes? your taste in cereal is horrid
Parent
Indeed Tesco's own brand cereal for the loose.
Parent
Bitches don't know about my wheetos.
Parent
I'd say it's all about dem Cookie Crisps dawg.
Parent
Grunts > Peons
Tauren > Grunt > Peons! ;D
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ur bnet acc=? ^^
Parent
sold it! but i already regret it :D

going to buy 1 again i think, now that it's getting more active again in the scene ;)
Parent
ehhhh
www.eurobattle.net ?
anyway w3 sux, dota pwnz!
Parent
probes/svcs/drones > grunts > peons you fucking warcraft3 newbs
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LoeL ! :D

nowai
Parent
warcraft 3 is fucking easymode, play starcraft for a week and then go back to it (that is if you want to go back to it, you might realise how much it sucks and get bored of it)
Parent
seriously, if u have no clue, dont even try to interupt a conversation
Parent
typical newb attitude, cs is the most played fps in europe innit, just like wc3 is the most played rts

real men play quake, just like real men play sc
Parent
okidoki, gimme dota for SC!
Parent
your reply is so 1999 and as beeing born in 1991, you cant rate something related to cs, sc or q3 as an 8 year old with thinking you know everything.
WC3 is entertaining to watch on a high level, such is SC,same for CS, though q4 was more impressive than q3, the previous title was great without any doubt aswell. You comment as an usual ET player you rate every older game (RTCW>ET>ETQW) higher and better than it realy is. And the WC series is older than starcraft is but the mythos behind the game is blizzard and not the game itself, though both games are totally different regarding the skills with only macro on one side with 5-6 armys and micro for wc3 with kinda only 5-6 units.
Parent
rts games have macro and micro
w3 is not an rts because it has no macro

also, i never said rtcw is better than et
also, q4 sucks because it doesn't have cpma, cpm is the only fun mode of quake
Parent
this finally proves that you are just a retard without a clue
Parent
Peons Successfully Raged:
chosen
Parent
tried sc, it's not bad either but since i kinda "grew up" with wc3 ( i know it released "late" and is rather newschool)

and about easymode: have you played on high level so far? give it a try, wanna see your "easymode" :D

<3
Parent
u failed without arguments already
Parent
hmm nice, so that's how it works
tutorial imo
I really was hoping for a funny youtube video when I clicked to this journal. What a disappointment.
The great thing about going to youtube.com is that every link is like a youtube journal. Although then you'd be dissapointed that they're not funny, this is a predicament.
Parent
sounds like a plan to me
Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
Parent
you just made your self the greatest peon ever :D
Sol is the most unhappy admin ever, a balanced admin should know how to force the rules and know when to look to the other side :~>
Sol never look to the other side :~D
tutorial imo
What group should I join ?
"my life for :~>"
Parent
So um what if you try and rage Sol ?
The universe implodes and then he bans you. In that order.
Parent
A Challenger appears !
Step one you say you need to post
He's raged you say calm down it's just a post
He posts politely back at you
You flame correctly right on cue
Some sort of journal to your right
As he clicks left you click right
Between the posts of fear and rage
You start to see it's war you wage

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost this flame
Somewhere I lost my finesse
And I would have stayed up with you for an eon
Had I known how to rage a peon.
you redeemed your journal with this!

people are still having nightmares from the last time i unleashed my vocal talent using that song
Parent
That's the first thing I thought of upon reading those lyrics
Parent
sock's been around for ages, to say hes a nobody is both unfounded and silly.

id look forward to a flame war though :)
Plus I think you just play a game with us:
"Here the use of inestual imagery is second to the imlication of transvestiteism in the peons family, and is thus permissible."
Why do you write sentences like this ? You just need some attention I guess. You just want to look smarter. Believe me I can use a lot of strange words but unfortunatelly I born in an other country where we speak a special language not this accepted one, so you and the 99% of the cf community wouldnt understand Oh and by the way this is disallowed without the [hun] tag, what a shame.

No offense, just wanted to tell this is so annoying.
Actually, the whole point of that part was to satire linguistic deonstruction. Or "lookie like how dem der clever peoples speak", for you special hungarians.

Here the use of incest is fine because it's second to the idea that their father wears women's clothing, just isn't as pithy.
Parent
come here to spain nobody give a shit if you speak english
Parent
Exactly, and no one gives a shit about spain. Coincidence? I think not!
Parent
You dont get the point.
Parent
I didn't even know you were typing real words, I thought you were just mashing the keyboard randomnly with your face.
Parent
I did not expect this from you, I am sorry. :-(
Parent
I get your point, long complex words exclude many from being able to properly understand the text, and it's often unnecessary. I use long words because I like using them, I like using them because a large, practised vocabularly makes communicating complex ideas much simpler.
Parent
Astonishingly decompound unlikeliness.
Parent
umnjyt rvbefgt jhu7n
Parent
now im worried if the keyboard is alrighty or not ;[
Parent
Try to use _the_ _long_ _words_ when you speak with your employer, he will adore you. Oh wait..
Parent
It's about how precise the word is, not how long it is.

I could say "I 'wrote that because I wanted to make it look like I was saying something but wasn't actually saying it, and I wanted it to not be completely clear that I was saying it at all", or I could say "I wrote that because I wanted it to be subtlely implicated."
Parent
Come on I see through you !
This not because you want to describe everything perfectly this just for make yourself a figurative person.

Do you see it ? I use capital letter and period. but why
Parent
Because it's correct. Because it helps you set the tone of what you've written. Because it helps to force someone to read it the way you wanted to.

Capitalisation is the difference between "I hadto help my Uncle jack off a horse" and "I have to help my Uncle Jack off a horse"; punctuation is the difference between "A Woman without her man is nothing" and "A Woman: without her, man is nothing."
Parent
Come on !
This is the real life not some Fight Club where every fucking sentence is a quote. Try to act like a normal person else you wont be accepted. Doesnt matter what you think this is a fact. Unless you are going to be a politician or a lawyer.

Have you ever were punched in your face ?
Parent
And real life often requires precise meaning. Like I said, using punctuation helps your writin develop tone and a correct rhythmn, which is a useful linguistic device of itself - Even if you forget meaning punctuation is still important.

This is the writen form, I don't speak like this.
Parent
no one gives a shit about UK or Estonia for that matter either
Parent
QuotePeons are the majority here on crossfire

it's not hard to notice such a thing when you're a part of the majority
You could say that, if by what you said you meant the opposite of what you said.
Parent
I must say I'm disappointed with your reply, I expected more, not just some random polish style reply that has clearly not been given much thought
Parent
I know you are but what am I?
Parent
one of those you hate so much apparently
Parent
you see, you just made yourself look even more british

on a serious note, if I were you I'd re-read our little conversation :)
Parent
Do you use a your £1200 Dog to spellcheck for you or something? If I spell check something it usually isn't riddled with spelling errors, or atleast I'd hope it wouldn't be after goin to the trouble of using a spell checker.
Why flame nobodies/and or nolifers? Be greatful they exist otherwise you couldn't feel that superiour. Just let him write these sometimes funny, but always challenging (vocabulary-wise) journals.
greatful?
superiour?

Nice spelling errors there MEIGHT.
Parent
Your dying cancer mother in a wheelchair!!11
Parent
Funny, I'd fucking love it if you got smart with me. As it stands it's just a dim glimmer of hope on the horizon. The emphasis is on dim.
Waiting for execution of replies!
Parent
I doubt it'll happen, you're welcome to wait around for a while though.
Parent
lol funny read, I'm sure that'll earn you a few crossfire bastardy points :)

Plus, I learned a new word, "imlication"....please explain the meaning..
It's implication after the janitor has done his rounds.
Parent
work work work
something you need doing?
Lab reports!
Parent
Random Walk – Ball Bearings.

An experiment to measure the positional distribution of ball bearings after travelling down a rough inclined plane. To analyse the results and show that the distribution discovered conforms to the standard Gaussian distribution.

Normal or Gaussian distributions are a fundamental component of many physical disciplines; statistical mechanics in particular relies upon the normal distribution of random phenomena as one of its most fundamental premises. Indeed, without the idea of a Gaussian curve, of standard deviation or mean, it is unlikely that many of the most prominent thermodynamic theories would not exist.

It is not only physical phenomena which conform to Gaussian principles; population height, shoe size, and other natural properties, when analysed correctly, appear to produce graphs and results of strikingly Gaussian nature.

When a process is referred to as random within this text, it is meant not that the result is wholly unpredictable, so much should be obvious, but that the result is not know with definite certainty: we can only assert with reference to probability. This distinction is mentioned so as to avoid confusion whenever random processes are discussed; we know to a probability where the ball, or shoesize or height, will reside, it is not truly random, but it is undefined enough to warrant the use of the word.

It should be noted that a Gaussian curve is one described by the function:

&#12310;&#945;e&#12311;^(-&#946;x^2 )
Where &#945; and &#946; are constants.

An example Gaussian curve:


Figure 1. Taken from http://weblog.terrellrussell.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/800px-normal_distribution_pdf.png


Experimental

A 'V' shaped enclosure, with a slot wide enough for 1.5 ball bearing widths to pass through located at the lower tip of the 'V', is mounted at the top of a rough plane inclined at an angle of 30 degrees to the horizontal; located at the bottom were 13 equally spaced slots each of 1 ball bearing width: balls travel down the slope and into the slots.

The slots are labelled from one side of the plane to the other in numerical order, 1 - 13, and the 'V' enclosure is positioned so that a line tangential to the plane and passing through the centre of the 'V' would also pass through the centre of the slot labelled 7.



A total of 30 ball bearings were placed into the V enclosure and left to travel down the slope into the slots. It should be noted that when all 30 balls are placed into the enclosure at once, blockages result, the solution is to stagger the introduction of balls over 3 or 4 runs - No formal process for this method was developed. The process is repeated 11 times with the number of ball bearings present in each slot recorded after each 30 ball drop.



Results

Slot Number Total
1 0
2 2
3 3
4 13
5 21
6 23
7 59
8 43
9 37
10 29
11 18
12 17
13 12
Table 1
The totals in Table 1. are the sum of all ball bearings falling into associated slot number over the entire experiment.


Fig. 3


The results clearly show a bias or systematic error in the propensity of balls to fall to the numerical right of the centre trough. However, as the peak of the distribution lies at the expected point, valuable insight can still be gained.

The shape of the distribution is clearly Gaussian; an overlay of a best fit Gaussian curve exemplifies this, especially when one ignores the systematic error.

Likely causes of the error are a plane inclined through an extra axis, i.e. tilted in the direction of greater frequency troughs. Less likely are imperfections in the plane itself, e.g. a plane bisected from trough 7 to 'V', with one side flat and the other sloped towards the edge; or with one side smooth and the other rough. In a future experiment it would be necessary to inspect the plane for uniformity and to check the second axis with a spirit level.

Analysing the systematic error further, we see that the balls are more likely to fall to the right of the centre line, meaning there is some effect present which causes the balls to either move to the right or stay on the right. The error, then, could stem from the 'V' enclosure: if one of the sides of the 'V' were longer than the other, the balls would be more likely to exit with a velocity in the direction that this side points. The angles of the 'V' sides, were they not equal, could also have caused an error, although it is difficult to predict exactly what that error would be.

The Angles and alignment of the 'V' enclosure were not measured or checked before the experiment began, it would be advisable then, in any additional experiments, for these values to be analysed for uniformity.

As with all investigations into probability, the more experimental data obtained the more accurate the results will be, thus basic modification would be too greatly increase the amount of data. This involved not only increasing the number of ball bearings rolling down the slope, but also either increasing the number of troughs (and thus the size of the balls), or making the entire apparatus larger so that more troughs of the same size can be fitted.

One difficulty with making the balls smaller is the associated inertia reduction and the appetence of such bodies to have their motion altered: the plane may need to be less rough in order to stop the balls bouncing around too much.

The results show well the collusion of random walks and Gaussian curves. Indeed, that the distribution survives a systematic error perhaps shows how integral such distributions are to random phenomena even more than had there been no error at all; the implication is that, in such areas as diffusion modelling, or other Gaussian phenomena, when uniform flows are introduced (analogous to the second axis tilt), the standard Gaussian distribution model would still be present in some form, only shifted or squashed in the direction of the flow. Imagining a standard 1 dimensional random walk experiment, we add a flow which shifts the direction of each walker to the right by 1 unit in conjunction with the normal 1 unit random motion; the end results is a Gaussian curve which not only flattens with time but also shifts to the right: as the error discovered is not described well by this result, we take it as evidence that a 2nd axis tilt was not the cause of the error. Taking the same model, but applying the 1 unit step only to a random half population, may give a similar result to those obtained in the experiment: if we assume that only half of the ball bearings were to be given the biased velocity from the 'V' exit, we see why giving half the random walkers a velocity is, although simplified, analogous.

Given the mundane nature of the experiment it is intriguing to note the level of understanding gathered, not only in regards to Gaussian distributions but also in terms of experimental results as a whole: always check your equipment.

In addition to the main experiment some smaller investigations were also performed, the most interesting of which involved analysis of the predictive powers and accuracy of the standard deviation value. A small sample of five balls was dropped down the slope and the mean value calculated, this value was found to be within one half standard deviation of the expected value (7). While this was certainly not a formal investigation it was a vindication of statistical methods and equally a validation of the results obtained.

As a systematic error is present it would be difficult to reproduce results exactly, however any uniformly rough plane constructed with care should be capable of providing a Gaussian distribution.


Conclusion

Difficulties in arriving at any firm conclusions arise directly as a result of the systematic error. The resultant distribution is ostensibly Gaussian, but with modifications which imply a non-random effect. Further analysis and experiment are required to determine the exact nature of this effect.


Two more to go.
Parent
Work work work.

Something I need to do.
Parent
smartass
I bet you say that to all the boys.
Parent
Nice one revealing all the aces.
I see what you imlied!
A distinct lack of p, I hear max has the same problem.
Parent
OH NO YOU DIDN'T.

He's quite sensitive about that, you cunt!
Parent
I didn't realise you were a prepubescent vally girl Fusen, I guess you're sharing in my American transition.
Parent
You're infectious...guess what else is infectious, uh oh I think I figured you out.
Parent
Infectious diseases?
Parent
nevermind :(
Parent
The only time it's really necessary to pee in public is in a pub, and if you get sufficiently wasted it's more a matter of controlling where your pee goes than whether you pee at all.
Parent
Clubs are worse. There's only a couple of cubicles, because people are usually vomiting in them. This leads to the uncomfortable experience of standing in a queue for the cubicle, with others under the impression that you're checking out their schlong.
Parent
Oh, you dont just piss on the floor? Nevermind then.
Parent
whats wrong with urinals ? If your happily peeing away drunkenly and the guy to your right gives you a wee wink after eyeing your manhood up... piss on him, although, he might like it. thats a tricky one.

most guys honour the +1 gap anyway whenever possible, the unwritten rule of when in a public toilet to go to the space furthest away. its just god damn general curtosy. No one wants splashed on.
Parent
Sock seriously needs some crossfire knighting, his journals are so random but always seem to amuse ;-)
Danke. I'd reward you with a virgin too, but unfortunately I'm all out of Fusen. I can notify you when I restock, I'm expecting a shipment of nellie sometime soon.
Parent
Doesn't hurt to electrify the rope though. Well, it doesn't hurt you anyway.
:))))))) topics like this where sock drives people crazy are actually the only interesting thing left on crossfire
Looks boring aint gunna read it
hehe the nonix conversation was a particular highlight :oD
"I thought you were just mashing the keyboard randomnly with your face. "


Personal highlight from said conversation
Parent
why so serious
why not so serious
Parent
Why so serious about not being so serious?
Parent
Why not so serious about not being so serious about being so serious?
Parent
Why so serious about not being so serious about not being so serious about being so serious?
Parent
Why not so serious about being so serious about not being so serious about not being so serious about being so serious?
Parent
Why so serious about not being so serious about being so serious about not being so serious about not being so serious about being so serious?
Parent
Let's Put A Smile On That Face
Parent
Let's Put A Face On That Smile, because a disembodied smile is just plain fucked up.
Parent
ROFL! EX DEE DEE DEE.
Parent
is it bright where you are
have the people changed
does it make you happy?

you're so strange
What's left is diversion and trickery, clever ploys which rage and confuse the peon into submission - check

You must avoid directly threatening or insulting the peon; they do not and can not feel emotional pain as you or I do - check

After the challene the chain of replies was planned and executed. - check

This method involved stearing conversations and usually takes it's course over multiple replies; it's like playing chess, you have to think ahead and course correct if thins don't go to plan. - check

what do I win?
The key to steering replies is to actually click the reply button
Parent
you don't say?
Parent
Did I? I don't really know. Did you say something? Or did you just question what I said? Or did you confirm what I said? I think you have a very inflated view on the effectiveness of your posts.
Parent
I found the reply button
Parent
Hey, so did I! We should reply to each other more often.
Parent
dunno, it's becoming too easy
Parent
rofl seriously gtfo Oo

image: 17855_ICONATOR_0e023ecbb3dd79b026ef419abfe50af2
GTFO MY INTERNETS SOCK :XD

ps. HER BE DARGONZ>?!?!
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