Story tiem? :>

Gotta write a story of our choice for a piece of english coursework..

Got this so far.

It was a typical school day. Monday morning, walking down my road looking at all t
other children that look like they are walking down death row. It was really cold
today, colder than usual. The ground was crisp underfoot, the air was piercingly
cold on your lungs, and you could tell that everyone would rather be dead than to
be walking to school this morning. Other than the harsh weather it seemed like a
fairly average day, people falling asleep in lessons as you do on a Monday morning,
but then the bell rang for break and suddenly there was life all around. Everyone
running to the door to be the first in the food que. I on the other was not so
rushed, so i decided to take a walk outside and let the waves of people subside
before i would get my share of the dirty, soggy, greasy food that was on offer.

When i managed to scramble through the hordes of small children i went to step
outside and then there was...well i dont know what it was. It was just a huge white
wall filling the doorway. I poked it to make sure it wasnt just a giant piece of pap
covering the exit. It wasnt. It was soft yet sturdy, cold and kind of, well, wet.
After pinching myself to ensure it wasnt just the fact it was a Monday morning an
i may of still been dreaming, i realised what it was. Stood before me was a wall of
snow. I couldnt help but blink a few times to check if what i was seeing was real.
ran over to the windows and drew back the curtains, and all i could see was white.

any ideas on how to expand on it? :p
Comments
18
need shelby story fast (skullfuck story)
Past tense is annoying me
past tense? :X
Parent
ye pff ofc i know what it is lol but this aint written in teh past.. its saying whuts happening NOW!
Parent
YE OK I SEE IT NOW.

1 PIECE OF PAST TENSE AND UR WORLD FALLS APART :<
Parent
It was really cold today

hmmm...else cool story bro :D

no idea for continuing this. how much you have to write?
Parent
what a homosexual story
''are walking down death row'' -->''everyone would rather be dead than to be walking to school ''

useless n too strong repeating. :) (thought walking in a dead row might beat being dead)
Suddenly the earth was shaking. Loud noises here and screaming there. Everyone was afraid. It came nearer and nearer. The screaming turned into a dead silence. You could even hear my heart beating like a machinegun. I tried to solve this situation and stay cool. For exactly this situations i went to a survivalcamp last spring. I took the leadership and told everyone to be as quiet as possible and told them to move in one corner. It was clear that every noise could mean our dead. We didnt know what was outside, but we knew that there was something. Something big. Something huge and with muscles. Something we had never seen before. I took my Butterflyknife out of my pocket and crouched to the door. Slowly i opened the door and saw something i couldnt discribe with my words. On the one hand it was ugly as the night, on the other hand it had somehow style. I couldnt analyze if it was male or female. My solution would decide over dead or alive. So i decided to let alexl in before the police catches him.
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Parent
Suddenly the earth was shaking. Loud noises here and screaming there. Everyone was afraid. It came nearer and nearer. The screaming turned into a dead silence. You could even hear my heart beating like a machinegun. I tried to solve this situation and stay all cool and all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear they're prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said 'FRESH' and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To settle my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
Because of today's situation with technology, my brain refuses to read anything longer than the length of a Twitter update.

Sorry, but good luck!
ON your lungs? tut tut someone didn't learn proper prepositions
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