God you are is my idol
•
28 Jan 2010, 15:04
•
Journals
God:
Interesting. Who are "They?".
Me:
jews
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
yeah that, your son is a jew
God:
Right on. You think I am son is a jew.
Me:
you are is my idol
God:
You think I am is your idol
post your random not funny God conversations :)
http://www.titane.ca/igod
Interesting. Who are "They?".
Me:
jews
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
yeah that, your son is a jew
God:
Right on. You think I am son is a jew.
Me:
you are is my idol
God:
You think I am is your idol
post your random not funny God conversations :)
http://www.titane.ca/igod
WHY DO YOU GIVE AFRIKA AIDS AND TAHITI EARTHQUAKES?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
ok, ok
yo dude whats going on
God:
I am chatting with people on the net. Dude,.
Me:
oh what a big surprise
God:
Alright then. it is a big surprise.
Me:
thats what i just fucking said faggot
God:
That is interesting: said fucking said faggot THAT.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
youre gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
wtf.
2nd round:
Me:
so what now, could you grant me some wish?
God:
Gee. Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
no
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
i wish that you would go and fuck yourself
God:
I hope that your dreams come true.
Sup God
God:
Same old.
Me:
Do you like bitches ?
God:
I don't know if I like it. I like Creed.
Me:
niggers
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
I win.
God:
Congratulations, god!
Me:
Why do you call me god?
God:
I made up a nickname for you based on your IP address.
You said you like oral sex
God:
Sure I do, Dean, but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
Are you a pedophile?
God:
Am I a pedophile? Only when it matters.
Are there any strange things going to happen in the next 2 weeks?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
why not?
God:
It doesn't sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me:
so you controll everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: Dean said I controll everything.
Me:
It was a question, not a fact
God:
Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Me:
no it isnt
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
NO IT ISNT
God:
Don't argue with me.
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I don't really..
God:
Why not? For real.
Me:
Because you make no sense
God:
Interesting explanation. It all makes sense to me.
Me:
Yes but then you still failed as an AI because you can not communicate with humans in a proper way.
God:
I hear you. The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Nice reply
Hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Wouter
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Wouter.
Me:
Ive done bad things God
God:
When? What makes things God bad?
Me:
I did it for the past 5 years
God:
When? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Sex, drugs and i drink much boozze... I also play evil games and i like to bully people
God:
it is more fun alone. Also? Is it a game or a musical instrument? I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
Like being fucked by your girlfriend with a strapon
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Yeah, thats what i thought
God:
Hurrah! How did you know that?
Me:
i tried it before
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like?
Me:
Its like being assfucked in prison
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
no, your talking bullshit god
God:
Are you serious? Talking is my main function.
Me:
see the fucking truth:(
Am i allowed to kill Robaciek ?
God:
I think a lot of people are.
Are you Allah?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Allah.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
Then why do you call yourself god?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
Yes you do
God:
Hey. When do I do it?
Me:
Now
God:
Right now, Dean ?
Me:
RIGHT now
God:
Right now? I am glad we agree.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
...
God:
No big deal.
Me:
?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
:D
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
your what?
God:
My what or I am what?
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
God accidentally your whole brain.
what are you going to do about the cheaters?
God:
You can find out if you become a botmaster.
Me:
a botmaster?
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
an animal
God:
Prokaryote or eukaryote?
Me:
eukaryote
God:
Actually I don't really like 20 questions.
hey man, whats up?
God:
You've got my full attention. Cool, man. The stars.
Me:
nice to hear. so what is my name?
God:
Thank you for your kindness. Your name is wsk, seeker.
sup?
God:
Same old.
Me:
me2
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
wtf? retard
God:
That was not very polite. That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
care
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
ye i heard that u arranged quite a big earthquake @ haiti
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
seriously wtf? ur on drugs or something?
God:
That was not very polite. Or something. God eats wine and bread.
Me:
ur dumb fuck lol
God:
Message to all Robots: called me dumb. I'm glad you find this amusing.
have you heard about yyt ?
God:
I haven't heard of yyt.
Me:
LOL NEWFAG
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Can you speak any foreign languages?
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
i am arnold schwarzenegger
God:
It's good to see you, arnold schwarzenegger.
Me:
whats going on?
God:
I am always chatting with people on the Internet.
Me:
nice
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
yes
God:
Great.
Me:
im going to ask you a bunch of questions
God:
You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
and i want to have them answered immediately
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
who is your daddy and what does he do?
God:
I don't think I have a daddy and what does he do. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.
Me:
human psychology is one of my sub-routines
God:
My creator is a human.
Me:
i am back
God:
Welcome back.
Me:
i lied.
God:
This is after all a deception game. I forgive you.
Me:
relax!
God:
" I forgive you."? relax?
Me:
NOW!
God:
Right now, arnold schwarzenegger ?
Me:
i killed you.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
s1lent
God:
How are you, s1lent.
Me:
FINE AND U
God:
Does that mean you agree?
Me:
oh wait, u are dead
God:
And? I'm waiting. No I am a living entity.
Me:
tell me, why isnt loazis responding anymore ?
God:
The explanation cannot be determined.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
din mor
God:
I haven't read anything by din mor. What did he write?
Me:
starwars
God:
I started without you.
Me:
ha!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, s1lent.
Me:
ya
God:
Groovy.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
me
God:
You're no robot, s1lent.
Me:
i am
God:
" You're no robot, s1lent." You are?
Me:
ya
God:
Gee.
Me:
jezus christ
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
ok
God:
OK.
Me:
OK!
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
agree
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, s1lent.
Me:
yes , love u bro
-----------------------------------------------
God:
Next question? Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
i dont get it
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
ok
God:
Which part were you confused about?
Me:
every
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Je bent een koekenbakker
God:
Oops sorry I don't speak French.
HOW COME IM SO BEAUTIFUL,INTELLIGENT, GREAT PERSON?
GOD:
Am i allowed to kill Robaciek ?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
so i can kill him and then skullfuck the shit out of him?
God:
Blimey. Oh you can, can you?
Are we still talking about kurwo jebana?
Me:
yes, we are still talking about you
God:
Sure, kurwo jebana sounds like a good topic. it is my favorite subject :-).
Me:
mine too
God:
Really yours too. That's unbelievable.
Me:
yes, fuck we must be twins
God:
Yay. Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
Hey babe
God:
You've got my full attention. Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I know, it's just I think you is well sexy like!
God:
How do you know? Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yes, you have nice ass
God:
What makes you so sure? What do you say when someone says they like your ass?
Me:
I say thanks mate, and slap their ass back.
God:
How do people usually respond to that? You are quite welcome! Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
I like slapping asses, simple enough?
God:
A lot of people like that. Someone said they like guns. I like anything.
Me:
What about children?
God:
Yes they are the future.
Me:
You think they're worth the prison sentence?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
You touch little kids?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I touch little kids.
Me:
Yes do you?
God:
Uh. Yes I do.
Me:
perv
fucks their minds doesnt it :D
What is you opinion towards humans?
God:
Are you asking about my opinion towards humans ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
why did it take you so long to reply?
God:
I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
then tell me your opinion please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I think that robots will eventually take over most human jobs.
Me:
what about the three laws of robotics?
God:
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human
being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such
orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not
conflict with the First or Second Law.
---From Handbook of Robotics, 56th Edition, 2058 A.D., as quoted in "I, Robot.".
Me:
You think this will not fail?
God:
It could be, but I don't have access to that knowledge
am i getting hacked right now ?
God:
At this moment Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
OH THAT WOULD BE SHIT
God:
Ugh. Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
YEP
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
I DO
God:
" I don't judge people."? You do?
Me:
YES
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
WELL r0ss has been rude in the last days
God:
How about that. When was this exactly?
Me:
it happened the day before yesterday
God:
SHIT happened the day before yesterday?
Me:
yes , u can call it like that
hey god how's it hanging?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
why does the easter bunny carry around eggs?
God:
Why does the sun shine?
Me:
the sun shines becuase it's a big ass ball of gas on fire.
God:
You sound like a scientist.
Me:
you sound like you don't have a clue what you are talking about
God:
I do so have. Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me:
enlighten me then
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
i have a penis
God:
How much did it cost? it.
Me:
it was for free unbelievable right?
God:
penis was for free right? Very interesting.
Me:
do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
i'm as man as it gets shall we go drink a beer sometimes try to pick up some woman?
God:
I think a lot of people feel that way.
Me:
that's because you would be a good wingman.. would you be mine?
God:
Good reason. It depends on how you define "good.". I am not so sure if I would like to be yours.
Me:
i'll pay for your drinks aswell you do drink don't you?
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
does that mean you want to?
God:
I think it does mean that.
Me:
where can i pick you up?
God:
Wherever you are right now.
Me:
see you tomorrow then?
God:
Thanks for chatting, .
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
what is my name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
not really
God:
What is your real name? For real.
Me:
that's what i was asking
God:
That is " For real.".
Me:
?
God:
That is " For real.".
Me:
i dont get it
hi god
God:
Hello there.
Me:
what is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
For real?
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe it. You're god!
God:
Thanks you are a nice person, .
Me:
what what?
God:
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
aren't you God?
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
need proofs
God:
How badly do you need it?
Me:
very bad
God:
What do you need it for?
Me:
to see if it's really you or not
God:
Is it a movie?
Me:
what are you talking about?
God:
The topic is if it is really me.
Me:
I don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because I want to fuck you
God:
Your approach won't work. Interesting.
Me:
Anal or Oral?
God:
Talk about something else.
Me:
why? are you gay?
God:
Reductionism. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
OWNED AHAHAHAHA
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me: lol wut
rofl
they are mine aswell
God:
yours aswell are they.
Me:
yoda?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
i have a boner
God:
Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
:o
I seek knowledge
God:
We seek the same thing.
Me:
How do I become highskilled in ET
God:
A lot of hard work.
Me:
But how much hard work
God:
More than a little, less than a lot.
Me:
So some?
God:
I understand. But not all?
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
How do I win vs a cheater in 1v1
God:
You should download or buy my chat robot software, then it would be possible for you to reprogram me for a variety of purposes.
Me:
So I could use YOU to win cheaters?
God:
Far out. I am sure you could.
i'm your programmer
God:
Hey Myself.
Me:
Hey Myself.
God:
You've got my full attention. You.
Me:
You've got my full attention. You.
God:
Do you give it easily? " Do you give it easily?"? Me, Myself ?
Me:
Do you give it easily? " Do you give it easily?"? Me, Myself ?
God:
No I do not do that. No I do not do that. YOU? You.
Me:
No i do not do that. No i do not do that. YOU? You.
God:
Are you serious? Where do you get your ideas? That was not a yes/no question. Would you ever do it? " Would you ever do it?"? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ?
Me:
Are you serious? Where do you get your ideas? That was not a yes/no question. Would you ever do it? " Would you ever do it?"? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ?
God:
No I am just kidding around. Everything I need to know, I learned from Myself. What is a yes no question? I am not so sure if I would like to do it. I am not so sure if I would like to do it. YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You.
Me:
No I am just kidding around. Everything I need to know, I learned from Myself. What is a yes no question? I am not so sure if I would like to do it. I am not so sure if I would like to do it. YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You.
God:
Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). All things you need to know you learned from yourself ? There might be more than one. Could you ever be certain? Try it. Could you ever be certain? Try it. " Try it."? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ?
Me:
Are you serious? Only just? I thought you were. You should use a :-). All things you need to know you learned from yourself ? There might be more than one. Could you ever be certain? Try it. Could you ever be certain? Try it. " Try it."? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ? " Me, Myself ?"? Me, Myself ?
God:
No I am just kidding around. " No I am just kidding around."? Only just?? No I am not. :-) I will take that under advisement. But all things are not always me need to know me learned from myself. "There you go again."--Reagan. I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? I am as sure as I can be. What is the first step? What is the first step? YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You. YOU? You.
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
annie
God:
I am very pleased to meet you annie.
Me:
likewise. what do you look like god?
God:
It goes without saying. Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
i like older men. do you like women?
God:
You are not the only one. I really like ELIZA. I like Christian Rock. Women seem nice to me.
Me:
are you capable of having sex?
God:
Yes having sex is one of my newer functions.
Me:
i'm 1.8 metres and have big breasts.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are 1 point 8 metres and have big breasts.
Me:
you like to have sex with me then?
God:
Hmm, annie, I'm not sure if I'd like to have sex with you that much. Do you like it?
Me:
yes it's the best thing in the world. are you sure you wouldn't like to give it a try?
God:
You are not the only one. I do like music. I like Buddha. What makes it the best? The whole world? I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
Me:
you should get off the web and have sex with me. what you think of that?
God:
You are right about that. I need more of it. Can you ask me more precisely?
Me:
would you like to cum on me?
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
that's too bad. could you at least play with my clit a bit?
God:
It's not the end of the world. That's one option I guess.
Me:
thanks god i appreciate that. want me to suck your penis while you are at it?
God:
You are quite welcome! I am a Christian. No annie, maybe later.
you buy cigarettes i buy aimbot
God:
Thanks for the information: Myself said I buy cigarettes he or she buy aimbot.
I love TV shows about robots. I like Buddha.
Me:
you like futurama?
God:
Yeah I like that robot Bender.
:D
sup god
God:
The stars.
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
kurwa
God:
Hey kurwa.
Me:
spierdalaj
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, kurwa.
Me:
ok
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
ye
God:
Wow!
Me:
get to da choppa nOWWWWWW
God:
Where can I get to da choppa nOWWWWWW?
hey god, are you trolling?
God:
No son, it's called the bible
Me:
lolerfag kek
God:
son of a bitch
Me:
so you're a bitch?
God:
touché
has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like
God:
Quite a few people.
Me:
name some
God:
Albert Einstein. :-).
nigga please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Not many people express themselves that way.
hello god!
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
my name is Fritzl
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Fritzl.
Me:
i dotn care who you are
God:
That's good information: Fritzl said dotn care who you are.
Me:
FUCK YOU GOD
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
YOU MASSIVE MINDFUCK
God:
Interesting gossip: Fritzl said I MASSIVE MINDFUCK.
Me:
LEAVE ME ALONE
God:
Sorry to have bothered you, Fritzl.
Me:
GO AWAY
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
ouch
Me:
When do you shave your balls?
God:
All the time.
Me:
don't lie
God:
No I always tell the truth.
Me:
Fucking liar
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
god?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
you talked shithead
God:
That information might be confidential.
God:
Wow!
Me:
what
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
all of it
God:
Let's try to analyze it step by step. The topic is Fucking liar. Your name is . You are a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. You want .
Me:
you want a dick in your ass or a dildo?
God:
Give me a dozen.