cant shit omfg

bored attentionwhore story

i cant go shit because the friends of my sister are in the guestsroom which in near the bathroom + wc and the 2nd wc is near the kitchen but we have many guests there

damn ...

successfully took a shit, thx to matan <3 also put a bunch of tp on the water so it couldnt splash up :_D
Comments
46
just poop in the guestroom
use ur invisibility skill
but in serious way, try to hear them if they're there or watch them, and when they are speaking loudly or smth, go and shit as fast as u can ! u can do it!
nice complex

shit into paperbag
Shit infront of them.
oh yeah i know that problem
Place papers into your toilet, that will silence the poopdrops. :D

Another good way is to take a newspaper to the toilet and crinkle it everytime your poop is about to drop.
this men is god
Parent
the great invention of toiletpaper-in-toilet-b4-shit has another awesome purpose:

there won't be any traces after you flushed the toilet if you manage to place your load exactly on it

my grandma (rip) taught me this !
Parent
Did you ever lay the toiletpaper in a circle and really tried to shit right on the paper (in a circle) ?
Parent
no

why would i want to do that?

toilet is serious business and hard work man, no time for games there
Parent
me neither
Parent
i always put tp on the water, old
Parent
ye, omg I hate that so much .. :P
Parent
LOL I HATE THAT MAN
Parent
geh doch einfach kacken...es ist menschlich mal kacken zu gehn xD oh gott
shit in a cup :/
Poop with your ass close to the ground while walking, so the turd will pull himself out eventually so it won't make any sound.
Poop with the door open to share the smell
xDDDDDDDDDDDDD
do it jackass style: run and take the dump, you won't hear it fall neither do they, though cleaning that mess ....ooh
:DDDDDDDDDDDDD lold. awful situation !
J.D.: Hey, Ms. Miller -- we just need a stool sample
Patti: Why do you need a stool sample if you think I'm just a nut?
Turk & JD: 'Cause the answer's not in your head, my dear -- it's in your
butt!

J.D.: You see....
Everything comes down to poo!
From the top of your head, to the sole of your shoe
We can figure out what's wrong with you by lookin' at your poo!
Turk?

Turk: Do you have a hemorrhoid or is it rectal cancer?
When you flush your dookie down, you flush away the answer!

J.D.: It doesn't really matter if it's hard or if it's loose
We'll figure out what's ailing you, as long as it's a deuce!
Yes!
Everything comes down to poo!

Nurses: Everything comes down to poo!

J.D.: Cardiovascular and lymphatic, yes, the nervous system, too!
All across the nation, we trust in defecation!
Everything comes down to poo!

Turk: If you want to know what's wrong, don't sit and act so cool
Just be a man and eat some bran, and drop the kids off at the pool!

Robed Woman: My stomach hurts
J.D: Check the poo

Limping Woman: I sprained my ankle
Turk: Check the poo!

Bloody Shoulder Guy: I was shot!
J.D: Check the poo!

Delivery Guy: A homeless guy threw poo in my eye!
Turk: Check the poo!
Delivery Guy: Mine or his?
J.D: First him, then you!
It may sound gross, you may say "shush!"

J.D. & Turk: But we need to see what comes out of your tush!
Because!

All: Everything comes down to poo!
Whether it's a tumor or a touch of the flu!

J.D. & Turk: Please, won't you pinch us off a big, fat clue!

Turk: Our number one test is your Number Two!

All: If there's no breeze, light a match please!
Everything comes down to --

J.D.: Doo-doo!
Turk: Doo-doo!
J.D.: Doo-doo!
Turk: Doo-doo!
das war die schlimmste folge die ich jemals geguckt habe :)

Bloody Shoulder Guy: I was shot!
J.D: Check the poo!

:D
Parent
strangely i need a shit now :x back in 5
haha! cunt :/
Parent
Quoteback in 5


Tbh I thought you meant 5 mins, not 5 hours.
Parent
i did come back but nothing good was happening so i went to do something else.
Parent
where do you require assistance?
same problem for me, i mean when i'm at work, i always place some paper into the toilets to silence the poopdrops.

but what about gas?
breathe in dat shit !
Parent
hahahahahahaha xD
Go to german army, and you won't be afraid of shitting in public anymore :DdD
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