so last night...

by noodle • 2 Aug 2011, 19:10 • Journals
I was just image: 206gfax in the bathroom, taking a shit (image: opo3tv) minding my own business, image: 4v1vgj when SUDDENLY I hear the sound of something dropping.

It was fucking warm in pro-gamer-anime-land yesterday so I was only in boxers and socks so I knew it wasn't dropped by me. I sit up, look infront of me and about 1foot away is a HUGE FUCKING CAVE DEMON SPIDER[/u] that must've fallen from the roof after perving on me taking my shit. I fucking went into image: wB7IC and insta-kicked the fucker with a swift swiping motion along the floor cause I had my socks on, the little nigger went flying and hit his head against the door, crawled a little bit and just sat there staring at me while I finished my shit.

I continued about my business as normal but kept one of my 4 available eyes at this moment on the little mother fucker and after I'd finished I stomped the fuck out of that cunt and flushed him down with my shit.


TL;DR SPIDER ATTACKED ME WHILST I WAS SHITTING SO I FUCKED HIM UP, WHAT'S YOUR BEST/WORST SURPRISE BUG ATTACK?


image: BS64V






yours sincerely,

image: KGRfY

super-golf-spider-killa-cell-shaded-kinderen
Comments
73
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monkeybusiness 2 Aug 2011, 20:16
how big was the spider
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noodle 2 Aug 2011, 20:36
gigantic, he could rip a tank apart
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EnderWiggin 2 Aug 2011, 22:13
so you went into tank mode
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noodle 2 Aug 2011, 22:25
all these years of professional gaming have given me the upper hand on reaction times, i managed to kick it in the face before it even saw what was coming
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EnderWiggin 2 Aug 2011, 22:26
How could he have missed that? Don't these monsters have 8 eyes?
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noodle 2 Aug 2011, 22:31
nerds have 4 eyes, doesnt make them superior

image: NSbRB
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kartez 2 Aug 2011, 20:19
thats my profil pic
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azuKi 2 Aug 2011, 20:21
image: 546467-bigthumbnail
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Spero 2 Aug 2011, 20:33
MIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU <3
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Cstm 2 Aug 2011, 20:21
no worries
it was spiderbro
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noodle 2 Aug 2011, 20:25
i know what my spiderbro looks like, he was no spiderbro
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niSmO 2 Aug 2011, 20:22
cuul stuori breaux
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Matan 2 Aug 2011, 20:24
plx the other day as i was getting dressed i put my image: bvql9suzrtdnwrt67 on and was about to leave...and then i felt something moving INSIDE my shoe...
i ran back to my room, unlace my shoes and a huge cockroach came out ;__;
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zeddd 2 Aug 2011, 21:04
i once had a small rat in my boot, noticed before putting it on though :pdpdpdp
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SayatNova 3 Aug 2011, 01:39
How did you manage to crawl into your own boot then Matean?
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fragma 2 Aug 2011, 20:29
i was naked and exposed in the shower. a cockroach flies at me, i lose my bearings and slip bringing down the shower curtain with me. its on top of the curtain speeding towards my open screaming mouth. i jump up and run thru the kitchen knocking over all glass in sight. i make my way outside. NO FUCKING KEYZ. luckily the door was open. i then had to walk barefoot over the glass and finish showering my ballz
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ipod 2 Aug 2011, 20:34
Once I was taking a shit, and a roach was walking up my ass cheek, I jumped and the shit that was exiting my anus dropped on the floor. :(
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ironic 3 Aug 2011, 02:54
hahahaha xD
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mamouth 2 Aug 2011, 20:36
you put in in the wrong hole ?
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Roach 2 Aug 2011, 20:41
pics or it didn't happen.

e: Pussy it's not like the spiders can kill you or anything.
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noodle 2 Aug 2011, 22:41
ofc it can, plus i was taking a shit..what if it crawled up my ass?
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Suyodhana 2 Aug 2011, 21:03
splendid journal!
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Nkd 2 Aug 2011, 21:10
woke up in the middle of the night with a centipede on my belly
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sHEv 2 Aug 2011, 21:12
love ur pics :DDD what the hell was that big spider doin there? u live in the countryside? :D
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Nyke 2 Aug 2011, 21:19
was in the lounge yesterday chilling and some goliath bird eating spider strolled in which looked like it could have taken me in a fight. Even a giant bat flew in and was like ... and flew out again. it even had fangs ffs. The spider was so big it had a health bar. I trapped it in a see-through ice cream box and left it there for my parents to discover the next morning as you do. Think my mum was last spotted 400 miles away still running from it.
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MerlinatoR 2 Aug 2011, 21:26
we are talking about a house spider here, wtf :(
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Artstar 2 Aug 2011, 21:26
couldn't really sleep so good last night coz it was mega fucking hot + some mosquito kept flying past my ear NONSTOP between 2AM-8AM. only when turning the light on did it fuck off but I can't sleep with the light on so I just pulled my cover over my head and couldn't hear it anymore. though because of this fanny-like cover hiding it got EVEN_MORE_HOT and woke up in a pool of non smelly sweat which was too uncomfortable to sleep in -> woke up and threw bedding into the wash.

the fucker didn't even bite me. I wasn't worried about getting bitten it was just the BZZZZZ past my ear all the time that I couldn't stand ;s

fun fact: on average you eat ~8 spiders whilst sleeping over a lifetime (OR PER YEAR, CAN'T REMEMBER)
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Cstm 2 Aug 2011, 21:36
know that feel :DDD makes me rage + i wont stop looking for the mosquito
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Artstar 2 Aug 2011, 21:37
man I found it at one point (to begin with I spent a while looking for it in the light) but as soon as I went to squash the fucker it flew away into some shadows.
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sadFace 2 Aug 2011, 22:22
me too got pretty easily annoyed by some moskito. It seems like my blood is really tasty cuz I gotta deal with them almost every night (maybe should i just close the window) All this to say that I'm now really skilled at spotting and killing them. what you gotta do is turn on the light (he will then stop flying and land) and watch on the walls and the ceilng (it's their favourite place to land. I hope you got light coloured walls cuz it's easier to spot them) and as soon as you see a small dark dot, SMASH THE FUCKER WITH SOMETHING HARD.

hope it helped.
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Artstar 2 Aug 2011, 23:09
will try it when I go to sleep thanks :D
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Rockskin 2 Aug 2011, 21:40
Woke up once, and noticed there was a spider in my mouth .... scariest shit of my life
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MetalHead 2 Aug 2011, 21:29
best journal ever :D
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Gifted 2 Aug 2011, 21:32
was playing 3on3 offi with ali & chizzel, had to pause cuz of a big spider next to me.
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zay 2 Aug 2011, 21:32
Actually lol'd :) wp
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zaNc 2 Aug 2011, 21:37
well, a squirrel threw me with an ambercorn (yes, squirrels are now officially bugs)
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ant1y 2 Aug 2011, 21:39
tbh that must be worst thing ever, I fuckin hate spiders if I see one I call someone instantly. Anywhere else I would have called my mum or smth there so scary :D.
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fumble 2 Aug 2011, 21:41
Sorry noodle but ive had the best bug attack in the history of E-Sports, owzo will tell you about it.
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Artstar 2 Aug 2011, 21:43
(fumble) i don't remember how the 3rd map went because a wasp stung me so i left
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AinsleyHarriot 2 Aug 2011, 21:42
wanted to get a bag out of the basement, and when I opened the bag (vacation bag rly big ya know) there was a rat family and I clubbed them.


?????????????????
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ironic 3 Aug 2011, 02:58
Whahahah echt? xD
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AinsleyHarriot 3 Aug 2011, 03:16
nee ik ben een liegbeest, ik heb ze rond het tuincentrum geflikkerd maar waarschijnlijk hebben die werknemers ze daar al doodgeknuppeld omdat ze niet van ongedierte houden tussen hun bloemenbakken D:
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ironic 3 Aug 2011, 03:19
Hhahahaha, alsnog n heldenactie :D
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slajdan 2 Aug 2011, 22:59
image: cerbalus2

ITS BACK
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duNzy 2 Aug 2011, 23:21
one big motherfucker
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AinsleyHarriot 3 Aug 2011, 03:17
I have the feeling it's gonna jump out of my screen ANYTIME
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Blindi 2 Aug 2011, 23:04
nice journal, one of these is worth 50 Francis "LELELELELELELE"-journals
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noodle 2 Aug 2011, 23:58
thanks for support i agree :)

i hate this le bullshit it makes me want to punch a deer in the antler
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AinsleyHarriot 3 Aug 2011, 03:28
why a deer and not something related to france?

image: francisbaguette
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varit 3 Aug 2011, 00:13
affirmativ! :D
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duNzy 2 Aug 2011, 23:15
these motherfuckers like to sneak up on me, in the dark when i can't see shit except for my monitor, so when i see them , i smash them into pieces into the wall, or they just crawl behind my bed(depressful, isnt it)
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Niki0o 3 Aug 2011, 00:13
i was gaming hard earlier this summer and had this big unknown bug on my wall, i had to keep my eye on it for like every third second, it was crawling slowly on wall.

Then i see that its crawling inside my roof like image: bipduv
Then like 1h later i see that the bug has returned to my wall and then im like 'fuck it, i'm going to kill it', but just when im hitting it with a book it starts flying!?!?!?!!? then i was like OH FUCK and i ran outside ma room and smoked a cigaret.

Then walked back to my room and i didnt see the bug anymore and i started gaming again.
THEN LIKE HOUR LATER I FEEL SOMETHING CRAWLING ON MY NECK AND I JUST WIPE IT WITH MY HAND AND I SEE THAT MONSTER DROPPED TO THE GROUND, i grabbed bottle from table and hit that motherfucker so hard like 3 times that it died..




Most horrible night of my life.
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AinsleyHarriot 3 Aug 2011, 03:31
What about your pretty toes after the bottle was smashed to pieces and the glass was all around the floor????? please continue your cool adventure, I am sure there was more that happened.
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Niki0o 3 Aug 2011, 03:58
Theres nothing more really to add to that story becouse the bottle wasnt made of glass :O
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ironic 3 Aug 2011, 03:00
I can always rely on you, noodle, to provide a cool journal :)

Thanks.
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fiskEn 3 Aug 2011, 03:44
I can attacked by fucking moths every night D: they gotta be the most nasty creatures ever i fucking hate em
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noodle 3 Aug 2011, 03:50
yeah moths are fucking gay, i still dont know what they're actually good for
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fiskEn 3 Aug 2011, 03:53
indeed, they go for the light in your screen and when theyre done with that? they attack your face >.>
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Niki0o 3 Aug 2011, 03:59
MAYBE THOSE MOTHS ARE SUCKING YOUR DICK WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING????
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RazZaH 3 Aug 2011, 04:56
did a journal like this once aswell


best way to tell cool stories :c)
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Amnii 4 Aug 2011, 00:12
I got bit by a uber wasp in my sleep...
AND
It was at the inside of my lip!
I woke up, heart rate > 250, slapped the motherfucker around and went downstairs to take a dump, Like a BOSS!
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